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Thursday, January 25, 2018 posted at Thursday, January 25, 2018

I've lived for 18 years.
Freaking 18. I still can't believe that I'm past the age of 17 now, the year that was supposed to be 'sweet'.

Not so much, I recall.
Though I do remember that year was the first time in a while that I felt my heart flutter. It still does, if I were to recall it. Well thanks for those memories, to those who it may concerns.

I suppose I should thank God. And those around me. For the memories and lessons I got while in this school.
Kalau tahun pertama adalah awal aku mulai membuka diri.
2 tahun terakhir ini membuka mataku untuk peduli ke sekitarku. Terutama temen" kelas.

I know some of them went through real shits.
I may or may not know the details.
But the fact that they have struggled or are still currently struggling, is enough for me to think that I'm not the only one who suffers.
That fact alone is enough to keep me going.

Though I barely had any idea where and how should I walk, since we're all basically living our life knowing that we will die.
Funny, huh?

Lucu bagaimana manusia menjalani hidup dalam pengetahuan bahwa mereka pada akhirnya mau tidak mau pasti akan mati.

Kadang terpikir, jadi untuk apa kita hidup? Untuk siapa?

If you're on your lowest point of life, you would find yourself trapped in these train of thoughts:
Why did all of these happen to me?
What should I do?
Why would God decide this for me?
Why am I living?
I am living just because I'm already alive. We dont ask to live in this life. We dont ask to be born.
Etc.

Bertanya tentang makna hidup, entah kepada siapa. Karena logika kita sendiri yang menjawab. Tapi tiap terjawabnya satu pertanyaan menimbulkan pertanyaan yang lain. Menjadi siklus pertanyaan yang tak henti. Hingga buntu. Logika kita sudah mencapai puncaknya. Stress sendiri dah.

Ah, kebuntuan seperti inilah yang seolah-olah menjadi kabar dan pengingat bahwa manusia tidak boleh bertuhan pada logika.


Hingga pada dasarnya, mereka yang sudah melewati ataupun mengalami fase ini terbagi menjadi 2 golongan ideologi:
1. Those who dont really believe or depend on the existance of God.
2. Those who believe that God does exist and is the only one that will always be by
their side.

Itu hanya perkiraan murni dari pendapatku sm sih. Mungkin ahli sosiologi/psikologi termasyhur sudah ada yang bikin teori tentang ini.
So take it with a grain of salt :)


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Septania Nurdika Putri 15 y.o. Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
Quick Update: blaahhhh 05-02-2015
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